


love's fool

by vltr0n



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, POV Shiro (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Unrequited Love, Unrequited Sheith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 02:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16777822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vltr0n/pseuds/vltr0n
Summary: "Being by Keith’s side in any capacity was better than not having Keith at all, and from the sound of it Keith wanted some part of Shiro too. Shiro could compartmentalize. Shove his feelings in a box until he was alone and had the time to try and work them into a place he knew he could stand them being for the rest of his life. He doubted he could ever love anyone half as much as he felt for Keith, so he would just have to deal with it somehow.Shiro pushed towards Keith’s voice, because when it really came down to it, he would do anything for Keith, even if it meant suffering in silence."





	love's fool

**Author's Note:**

> i saw a tweet about unrequited sheith with pining shiro and said yes good now make it better with heith because i love all the ships with hunk the softest boy

Shiro releases his Galra hand from the tablet he's holding before squeezing it into a fist in his lap. If he cracks another one Allura was going to have his head on a platter. He pointedly stares at the report he's supposed to be going over just so he doesn't stare at the way Hunk has his arm slung over Keith's shoulder. Or stare at the way Keith is brooding about something and plays with Hunk's fingers just because he can.

There was a time that when something was bothering Keith he would come to Shiro for comfort. It didn't matter what it was, Shiro had always been there for him. Since Keith had started dating Hunk (which was _great_ , truly) Shiro had gotten to spend less and less time with his best friend, and that's what bothered him.

He didn't believe Keith was ignoring him on purpose, and there was no way he would ever bring it up to Keith, but Shiro did miss him. Breathing deeply through his nose he relaxed his fist, and immediately knew that there was no way Pidge didn't hear the way the metal and the gears groaned in protests from being forced shut so tightly.

“You alright over there, Shiro?” Pidge asked, looking over the top of her laptop at him. She had joined him at his table to get away from Lance and Hunk's loud conversation to try and focus.

Shiro cleared his throat. “Fine.”

Pidge gave him a look before humming and turning back to her laptop.

He was _completely_ fine. Keith didn't have to come to him with all of his problems. He was more than allowed to go to his _boyfriend_. Shiro liked Hunk, even if he'd only known him for a short time, and he seemed to make Keith happy. Keith being happy was what really mattered.

 _So stop acting like an overprotective old man_ , he scolded himself as he turned his eyes back to his tablet.

* * *

Shiro is _fuming_. He's not sure if he's ever been this angry in his life, and the worst part is is that he has absolutely not outlet for his feelings. The Black Lion's consciousness washes over him like a calming wave and it helps a little.

He takes a metaphorical deep breath and tries to focus. He's been stuck in the astral plane for weeks at this point, and he's accepted that he's died and has no body to return to. At least he still gets to see Keith and watch him and the others grow and go on to hopefully win this war.

What breaks his heart is all the time Keith spends searching for him, hoping there's still something to be found. Shiro wishes he could tell him to stop. He can see the strain its putting on Keith's relationship with the other Paladins, but especially with Hunk. Shiro didn't think he'd be able to survive watching Keith ruin something good for him when Shiro wasn't even around to be rescued.

What _pisses_ him off is the imposter of him that Keith found floating through space in a pod. Shiro doesn't know who it is, or what's going on, but he knows it has Haggar written all over it. It's the only explanation Shiro can come up with. He just wishes he knew how he could fix it.

* * *

The months drag on as Shiro is forced to watch Keith go off with the Blade of Marmora, and his imposter take the position of Black Paladin. He had screamed and pleaded with the Black Lion to not accept him, because maybe if she didn't then Keith would have to stay. She wouldn't answer him, and Shiro was forced to accept it. All he could do was trust that she knew what she was doing.

Shiro has to give Hunk credit where it's due. He stays strong and steadfast while Keith is gone, sometimes with no contact for _weeks_ . Shiro's not sure he could say he would be able to do the same if their positions were flipped. (Not that he _wanted_ them to be. Just that if _his_ boyfriend was gone like that all the time he'd probably do nothing but worry.)

As it was all he could do was worry because Keith was still his best friend and there wasn't anything else he could do about it.

* * *

A lot happens.

Shiro knows he's missing pieces because the Black Lion can't see everything all the time, but what matters is that Keith is back and his heart _sings_. He decides he can overanalyze that reaction later, and instead pays attention to the ensuing chase. It bothers him immensely that the Paladins think he's gone rogue when the imposter has been Haggar's puppet all along. He hopes they can clear the air later because if there was anything he wanted before he eventually fades away-assuming he's not going to last for eternity in the astral plane-its that he would want the Paladins to know it wasn't really him.

Keith going after his clone on his own because he believes that's it's really him touches him at his core. Shiro had never imagined Keith risking all the good things he had just to save him. As far as Shiro's concerned there's no way he's worth a fraction of it all. Plus, there's the whole being dead thing.

Watching Keith and the clone fight was worse than all his time spent in the astral plane. Visibly watching Keith's heart break at the things the imposter said and still fighting with everything he had was one of the hardest things Shiro had ever had to endure. The hardest was watching Keith accept the fact that he was going to die with who he thought was Shiro.

Thankfully, the Black Lion came to Keith's rescue, and even though Shiro thought she could have done it sooner he was still happy. He was happier still to get to talk to Keith and explain what really happened to him. It wasn't great telling Keith that he had actually died in his fight against Zarkon, but it brought Shiro some peace. He could fade from existence when the Black Lion was ready to let him go without any qualms.

Keith had other plans.

* * *

Shiro never imagined waking up in Keith's arms, but he supposed it was pretty nice even if he did hurt all over. At least he got it once in this lifetime.

That was all he was able to think about before he passed out.

* * *

For being unconscious Shiro was oddly aware of his surroundings. He knew he was in a healing pod, and he could hear Keith talking to him, though it sounded muffled. It was like he was submerged in water and Keith was just above the surface, and reaching him would be giving him the oxygen he so desperately needed. But, he couldn't. Shiro would never be able to have Keith how he truly needed him.

Keith would never love him how he wanted, had said so himself. _You're like a brother to me_ . Those six words spoke volumes, and Shiro was pretty sure he'd rather stay dead than suffer. He could never try to come between what Keith and Hunk had. It had literally endured time and space, and even though Keith had risked it all for Shiro because he felt they were _family_ …

Shiro was ready to let go. Had been for a long time. He had come to terms with it, had thought he would just eventually fade into nothing. A second chance like this was not something he had expected to get, and he wasn't sure he wanted it.

It didn't matter if he loved Keith or not, and he _did_. Shiro loved Keith so much it hurt. He had spent so long denying it to himself because he didn't want to suffer a second heartbreak, but here he was. Suffering anyway.

Keith's panicked voice pulled Shiro from his own thoughts. _You can't do this to me again_ . It takes Shiro a moment to realize what Keith means. This would be the third time Keith would lose Shiro if he let go like he wants to. (A part of him asks _Then why are you still here?_ ) The cynical part of him finds some sick joy in the whole “the third time's the charm” saying because this would really be the last time.

Part of him continues to hang on, clinging to any little reason to stay, and he can’t shake it loose. As sweet as the darkness seemed just the idea of hurting Keith in someway even though he wouldn’t be there anymore makes it seem a little more sour than before. Could Shiro muscle through the heartbreak of not having Keith, and watching him with Hunk for the rest of his life? He didn’t really know. But he was willing to try.

Being by Keith’s side in any capacity was better than not having Keith at all, and from the sound of it Keith wanted some part of Shiro too. Shiro could compartmentalize. Shove his feelings in a box until he was alone and had the time to try and work them into a place he knew he could stand them being for the rest of his life. He doubted he could ever love anyone half as much as he felt for Keith, so he would just have to deal with it somehow.

Shiro pushed towards Keith’s voice, because when it really came down to it, he would do _anything_ for Keith, even if it meant suffering in silence.

* * *

Coming back to life was interesting, to say the least. Shiro had never been hit by a train, but his new body certainly felt like it did. He wasn’t sure if that was from the fight with Keith the clone had had, or if it was just a resurrection thing. It was a week later and he was trapped in the Black Lion with Keith. He had spent a lot of the time sleeping, or pretending to sleep, to try and avoid his feelings for awhile. Compartmentalizing was proving to be a little more difficult than he thought it was going to be.

The fact that Keith was spending every free moment to dote on him wasn’t helping either. Shiro had a thorough case of emotional whiplash between the happy, floating feeling he got when Keith was taking care of him and the terrible, gut wrenching, sinking feeling he got when Keith left him alone again. This was going to be a long trip back to Earth. The only reason Shiro had agreed to ride in the Black Lion was because of the puppy dog eyes Keith had given him. Having finally admitted his feelings for Keith to himself made him weak to the other man, and he didn’t know how to fight it yet.

When Shiro finally crawled his way out of the makeshift bed they had set up for him in the belly of the Black Lion he immediately wanted to crawl right back. He had managed to walk in on the tail end of a conversation Keith was having with Hunk, and it was obviously supposed to be private. Or maybe it wasn’t and Shiro just really wished he hadn’t heard it.

“I love you, Keith.”

“I love you, too.” The words made Shiro’s gut twist with jealousy. He was just about to turn around when Keith must have heard him. Shiro watched as Keith gave Hunk a hasty goodbye with a promise to talk more late before reaching up to close the private channel. Keith stood from his pilot’s chair and made his way towards Shiro.

“Hey, feeling better?” Keith asked him with a warm look on his face.

“Yeah, getting there.” Shiro lied. His body didn’t hurt as much, but his heart felt like it was full of glass shards and every beat made it hard to breath.

“Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Shiro…” The quietness of Keith’s voice finally made him look up from the floor. “What’s wrong?”

That was a loaded question that Shiro wasn’t exactly sure how to answer, so instead he shook his head. “I just wanted to check in. See if you needed a break, and see when the next time we were potentially pulling over to stretch our legs?”

“Pidge’s scans show a planet we can probably stop at in a couple of days.” Keith said, shifting his weight and crossing his arms as he looked at Shiro. “Are you _sure_ you’re okay, Shiro?”

“I will be,” Shiro said simply before gesturing back over his shoulder in the direction he had come from. Keith let him go without another word, even though he looked like he wanted to say more.

* * *

When they finally stopped off on a planet they could breath on Shiro’s body was almost back at one hundred percent. His joints still felt stiff, but that was probably a side effect from spending time cramped up inside of the Black Lion. He expected to feel that way for awhile yet, considering how far they still had to go.

Shiro and Keith were the last ones to exit their lion, and Shiro tried not to watch as Keith made a beeline for Hunk. Turning away he found Pidge resting against a rock and went to join her, doing his best to angle himself away from Keith’s direction.

“Care to tell me why our fearless leader looks like a kicked puppy?” Pidge tried, but Shiro ignored the question.

“How are you and Green doing? Getting along with Krolia?”

“Yeah, we’re all good. Keith’s mom is actually pretty cool,” Pidge answered. Shiro didn’t miss the way she narrowed her eyes at him, trying to find the answer to her question.

“Good.”

Shiro picked up a pebble and rolled it between his fingers, staring at it intently. He could feel Pidge’s gaze still on him.

“You think Krolia would do me a favor if I asked her?”

“You will not know until you ask,” Krolia said as she stepped from the bushes next to them, making them both jump.

After catching his breath he asked for his favor with adrenaline still coursing through his veins. “Will you switch lions with me, and tell Keith it was your idea?”

Krolia studied him for a moment. “Why should I lie to my son for you?”

“You shouldn’t, I just…” Shiro trailed off, not really sure what to say, and found himself staring at Keith again. His heart squeezed as he witnessed Keith and Hunk share a kiss. Tearing his eyes away he looked back to Krolia. “Please?”

Krolia’s face softened like she understood. Shiro didn’t know if he could trust her to keep his secret, but he was close to bursting anyway. “Of course, Shiro.”

With that she left him with Pidge again. The Green Paladin looked at him sadly. Shiro swallowed thickly and just shook his head before leaning it back against their rock and letting his eyes fall closed.

* * *

“Are you sure you’ll be okay with Pidge? You’re allowed to tell my mom no if you want to stay with me.” Keith said the next morning as they were preparing to take off.

Shiro wanted nothing more than to share a small amount of space with Keith as they made their way back towards Earth, but his heart currently couldn’t handle it.

“I’ll be fine,” Shiro said as he tried to put on a smile. He could only hope it didn’t look to fake. “Who am I to come between a mother and her son?”

Keith looked like he wanted to argue but he let it go. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed… off, lately.”

“I appreciate your concern, Keith. You’re right though, I have been feeling off. I think coming back from the dead does that.” Keith gave him a look that said he wasn’t amused. “I’ll be _fine_. I just need some time to get my head back on right.”

“Well, just don’t forget that we’re all here for you.”

“I won’t,” Shiro said, turning towards the Green Lion. He did his best to keep a straight face as he walked passed Pidge, but whether he managed it or not he wouldn’t know as she let him pass by in silence.

* * *

Shiro sat in the belly of the Green Lion, staring at the wall and doing his best to not think about anything. He looked up when Pidge walked in. She held up his next ration of freeze-dried something or other. As she got closer she notice his last one went untouched.

“Shiro, you have to eat.” Pidge said plainly.

“I know.”

She gestured toward his food like it was a perfectly good example to prove that he didn’t, in fact, know that he needed to eat.

“Sorry for making you worry,” Shiro said, and he was sorry. No one else should have to deal with his feelings except for him.

“You _can_ talk to me you know. Contrary to Matt’s belief, I _can_ keep a secret.”

Shiro laughed at the mention of Matt, realizing how much he missed the other Holt. “I know, but I think you already know my secret.”

Pidge gave him a sad smile. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Pidge nodded and left him with his food, moving it closer to him to probably try and encourage him to take better care of himself. He supposed he should try.

* * *

Thanks to the Paladins ever growing talent of surprising him Shiro was glad to find their whole group on Earth way ahead of schedule. Here there was a lot for him to do, and it served as an excellent distraction from his feelings for Keith. There was Galra to get rid of, people to save, and things to rebuild. Plus, the new arm Allura had made for him. (That helped _a lot_ with his mental state.)

The Atlas was also great, and the promotion to Captain was something Shiro had never really thought he would get. He was used to being the Garrison’s golden boy, but now the _whole planet_ looked to him like he was up on a pedestal and that terrified him. The pressure to not let anyone down was almost overwhelming, and the only thing that helped him keep his head on straight was knowing that he could always count on Voltron and the Paladins.

At least until they carried a literal ticking time bomb into space and all nearly died because of it.

Shiro had never been so scared in his life. Feelings for Keith aside the Paladins were his family. They were all he had left. There hadn’t been anyone waiting for him here on Earth. No one for him to come back to.

As soon as the Paladin’s had broken into the atmosphere he had scrambled the MFE pilots to follow each lion’s projected trajectory. He waited in the hangar with med teams who were there to transport the Paladins to the hospital wing.

First was Hunk, who was unconscious, but didn’t look too worse for wear, but Shiro knew better than to assume. Second was Pidge, quickly followed by Allura. Then Lance, and finally Keith. After they were all confirmed to have a pulse and to be breathing Shiro finally let himself relax a bit. He followed after Keith since he was the only one who didn’t have someone to watch over him and worry about his progress since Krolia had gone off with Kolivan to find other Blade members.

This was definitely not going to help him keep his head on straight.

* * *

A week later Shiro found himself sitting by a still unconscious Keith’s bedside with Hunk. Their silence was companionable for the most part, and any awkwardness felt Shiro was sure it was one sided for himself. Hunk was a good person, and Shiro was pretty sure they could never hate each other. (At least, he hoped.) That didn’t stop Shiro’s secret from trying to come out.

It was the third day of them sitting next to Keith’s bedside together and he was sure Hunk was suspicious anyway.

“I love him,” Shiro blurted. He felt his ears burn red, but it was too late for him to take the words back. They were out there, and Hunk could do whatever he wanted with them.

“I know,” Hunk said, eyes moving from Keith’s face to Shiro’s. _That_ surprised Shiro. Was he really so easy to read? Did _Keith_ know?

“You know.” Shiro said flatly. It was supposed to sound like a question, but he had someone lost the ability to use inflection in his voice.

“You look at him the same way I do,” Hunk said with a shrug. Nonchalant.

Shiro was still confused. Why wasn’t Hunk threatening him and telling Shiro to stay away from his boyfriend? “That doesn’t upset you?”

“Should it?”

That shut Shiro up for a minute as he thought about it. He supposed he thought Hunk would react how Shiro would have reacted which would not have been with a level head. The thought of Hunk being a better man than he was was… humbling. It made him happy to know Keith had someone like Hunk to take care of him.

“...Keith doesn’t know.”

Hunk shook his head. “No, he doesn’t. He’s a little oblivious to those kinds of things.”

Shiro couldn’t help but hear the fondness in Hunk’s voice and feel torn. “Yeah…”

It was quiet again, the only sounds were their breathing and Keith’s monitors.

“Do you want him to know?”

Hunk continued to surprise Shiro. The offer was touching, but Shiro would never do anything to jeopardize Keith’s happiness, or the team’s ability to form Voltron. He wasn’t exactly sure why he needed Hunk to know, but he did. Maybe he just needed someone who could really understand his feelings to know.

"No, I don't think I do."

“Okay,” Hunk said, nodding slowly. “Sorry, Shiro.”

“Thanks, Hunk.”

Hunk was the only one who’d found out that didn’t look at or talk to him with pity. He didn’t need pity, it was the last thing Shiro needed. He wasn’t sad that he loved Keith. Yeah, the unrequited love thing sucked, but he was slowly coming to terms with it. He knew it would probably take a long time, and there was a good chance he’d never stop loving Keith, but he would try to be happy again someday for Keith.

Keith started to stir in his bed, finally moving after a week of stillness. Shiro stood from his seat and stepped towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Hunk asked at the same time as he moved closer to Keith’s bed, taking Keith’s slim hand in his own.

Shiro looked over his shoulder as he reached the doorway. “I just needed to know he was going to wake up. You’ll be the first one he’s looking for when he wakes up anyway.”

Shiro stepped outside before Hunk could say anything else, and as he turned into the hallway he nearly ran into Krolia who was standing just outside the door. Neither of them said anything, but the look she gave Shiro said she had heard his and Hunk’s entire conversation. Shiro swallowed thickly and nodded at her. Krolia pushed away from the wall to turn into the direction of Keith’s room. She paused as she was passing Shiro to give his arm a light squeeze before heading inside.

The hallway was empty now except for him, and as he walked away from Keith’s room he made sure his shoes clicked loudly on the floor so he wouldn’t be able to hear anything being said from inside. He’ll go see Keith tomorrow, and he’ll smile and be happy that his best friend is on the mend.

Tonight, however, he was going to go back to his room and lock the door, turn off everything, and mourn the love he lost and never had a chance at getting in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> i hang out on twitter @ vltr0n


End file.
